Sunday 28 April 2013

"We are coming for you next" Iain Duncan Smith warns Sunday Telegraph reading 3rd Agers ...

In an exclusive interview with the Sunday Telegraph the Work and Pensions Secretary informed its elderly readers that if they could afford to pay for the Sunday Telegraph they obviously had far too much money and should not expect to receive "something for nothing handouts from the state" for much longer. 

"It's all very well these people claiming that without Winter Fuel Payments, and free Bus passes and TV licences, they wouldn't have the money to afford to buy the Telegraph" he said "but why should the state be subsidising this stay at home, cosy chair by the fireside reading what is undoubtedly the finest newspaper in the land as a prelude to watching Countdown lifestyle ?", adding "and why should the state provide the means whereby they are able to indulge in reckless gambling by giving them free bus passes to take them to and from Bingo? It's madness."   

In a further indication of how serious a problem he regards it as Duncan Smith also said "Poor Widows in Mansions, I have had them up to here.  I'm going to means test them all in respect of everything until the pips squeak.  Thanks to UC I've now got all the technology to do it you know."

The interview came to an abrupt and unscheduled end when Mr Duncan Smith was suddenly collected by some rather burly gentlemen who said they had been sent from Number 10 to escort him to an urgent meeting with the PM.  Mr Duncan Smith was heard to be muttering something about "pensions triple lock, my arse" as they led him away.

5 comments:

Mark Wadsworth said...

... so look out you all pensioners born in Tameside in a year that divides by four!

Graeme said...

in an interview earlier today, Ken Clarke claimed to be a pensioner. Does that mean he disclaims his governmental salary, approx £130K? He also made the claim that pensioners such as he frequently refuse to accept the winter fuel supplements etc. I hope this is not hypocrisy, otherwise I might have to disbelieve the statements he makes about UKIP.

Mark In Mayenne said...

Good plan. I love giving money to the government because they spend it so wisely.

Sarton Bander said...

MiM

Governments extort money, you do not give, they take.

Anonymous said...

The quiet man is turning up the volume. Well, you do when you get that bit older.