Friday 30 September 2011

Overheard in the pub'

At about 6.30, when it was fairly full:

Overweight black guy: "Where shall we sit?"

OBG's even more overweight white girlfriend: "I can't see any empty tables. Shall we sit outside?"

OBG: "Nah, it's too smoky out there, let's have a look upstairs."

I sincerely hope that he fell down the stairs and broke a leg on his way home.

9 comments:

Curmudgeon said...

Reminds me of this story :-(

WitteringsfromWitney said...

Even more hilarious, MW, they forgot the basic fact that the smell of smoke - and smoke - travels not just sideways but upwards........?

Funny people you meet in pubs...

Dick Puddlecote said...

Blissfully unaware that they're a couple of lines under smokers on the hit-list.

Mark Wadsworth said...

C, punchline of that story: "Does this not show you just how stupid and ignorant some people really are?"

Of course, 'outside' as far as this particular pub is concerned is just a few tables in an alleyway. A few weeks ago it was pissing it down so a few hard core smokers were outside under the awning, and a passer-by wafted her hand about and said how much it stank. I felt like jumping up and punching her in the face but resisted.

Anyway, here's a plan: when the weather is nice, smoking is only allowed IN the pub, and when it's pissing it's down, smoking is only allowed OUTSIDE the pub. Perhaps that'll keep them happy?

WFW, to be fair, the waitress came out from behind the bar every ten minutes to close the door.

DP, not just a couple, they are next in line. Along with the skinny people.

Hexe Froschbein said...

If they go to Greece, they'll hate it there... smoking will be legal again, albeit at a price and only for the big establishments:

http://greece.greekreporter.com/2011/09/30/smoking-permitted-once-again-in-specified-areas/

Pecunia non olet...

Martin said...

Hexe Froschbein,

I was in Greece last week and the ban is largely ignored now. Athens airport has two wonderful 'Smoking Lounges'. One is thoughtfully right by the arrivals area and the other next to a coffee shop so that you can get a drink and go in the lounge and relax with a smoke. Once inside you can't even smell the smoke as the ventilation and extraction is so good. I sat there and watched as the smoke literally disappeared off the end of my cigs!
Their economy may be in the crap but they've got a bit of common sense left!

Hexe Froschbein said...

Point is that they first removed our property rights, now, they are leasing them back to us, subject to a small fee of 200 Euro per sqm per year for the license.

Maybe the Greeks ignore the ban for now, but once this passes, the tax collector will be round.

And what is also annoying is that the minimum size for smoking premises is 300m2 which is quite large. So the small places will get stiffed doubly here since they their custom will migrate, and most likely case is that the tax collectors will start to enforce the smoking ban, now that it's worth money.

Mark Wadsworth said...

HF, given how desperate Greece is for cash, that seems like a good way of raising money, certainly better than income tax. Restricting it to large premises is absolutely spiteful though.

M, when I win the lottery I'm going to get ventilation like that installed in my house.

Hexe Froschbein said...

Greece is bankrupt either way... the license money is a drop onto a hot stone here!

I don't smoke myself, but that's beside the point, it's the principle I hate, they took one of our rights pretending it was for our own good, only now to cheaply lease it back to the select few who can afford the fee, so much for the 'second hand smoke will kill you' BS. They even put a price tag on the risk here -- 6000 Euro for a big busy pub per year (300m2 is quite a large premise), say they have 500 guests every day, and are open on 350 days a year, then we have 6000/175000=0.0343 cent worth of 'risk' to the individual per pub visit.

True you can say the ventilation system makes the air safe to breath anyway, but given that it's cheaper to build a system for a smaller place, why only single out big places that can afford 6k+?

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Regards a ventilation system... you don't have to win the lottery at all it's actually quite cheap to build one, but you have to swot up on how ventilation works. OK, this is how to build something for a glass blowing studio, but... you probably need something less severe (its' only ciggie smoke and not fumed metals...), check this out: http://mikeaurelius.wordpress.com/ventilation-primer/

I'd say you if you use those principles he teaches there and go DIY, you only have to win about a grand in the lottery :)