Friday 16 October 2009

Parody Singularity (4)

From The Metro:

Kirstie Allsopp set to join House of Lords

She's advised countless people on the importance of location and now Kirstie Allsopp's possible new home couldn't be much grander... the House of Lords. The Channel 4 property guru is being lined up as one of dozens of new peers should David Cameron win next year's general election. According to leaked documents, the Conservative leader is looking to 'sprinkle stardust on the red benches'.

The 36-year-old Location, Location, Location star - daughter of Charles Henry, 6th Baron Hindlip - could be joined by Tim Berners-Lee, founder of the internet, and Carphone Warehouse co-founder David Ross. Allsopp is one of 20 high-profile figures 'in advanced discussions' about getting the honours from the Conservatives. Some may well become ministers to help a future Conservative government - Allsopp is currently a 'housing adviser'. She is also a close friend of the Camerons, and mixes in the same social circles, insiders say.

Mr Cameron has in the past been highly critical of Labour's promotion of celebrities and business figures to its 'government of all talents' (1). The Tory list was drawn up by PR firm Mandate after speaking to more than 50 MPs at their recent party conference. 'As they prepare for a difficult first year in power, the Conservatives are planning to use Lords appointments to sprinkle some star dust on their front bench,' said Fiona Mason, Mandate's managing director of political affairs. 'David Cameron is keen to bring to the fore a range of policy and technical experts who have stronger knowledge of the wider world than many of his MPs.' She said he wanted at least 20 high-profile new peers...

A spokesman for the Conservatives described the list as 'pure speculation'.


(1) Ahem.

11 comments:

Reason said...

Tim Berners-Lee is credited with inventing the World Wide Web rather than the Internet.

Lola said...

Allsop is a clueless wealthy totty bimboid. She was useless the time I watched on QT. Putting her into the Lords as some form of 'housing' or 'property' expert is not tenable. But, Cameron will be looking for likely people just to rdress the political balance of the Lords, hence anything goes.

Mark Wadsworth said...

R, didn't Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Al Gore invent that?

L, Kirsty has been influencing Tory housing policy for a over a year, so this is no big surprise, really.

Witterings from Witney said...

Kirstie's 'expertise' is well known as being a 'sop' to 'all' Tories - mind you, with the Tories past record, it may be the Tories have other ideas for her!

James Higham said...

So, the jockeying has begun.

Tim Almond said...

Mark,

Al Gore did more for the internet than TBL. He was the first politician to recognise its importance and work to get it out of academia/government and into the public/commercial space.

TBL was in the right place at the right time and that's about it. If he hadn't done hypertext + DNS + TCP, someone else would have done soon after. It was a logical solution to the problem. He's not in the same league as Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, Bill Gates, the Google guys, the men who developed the RSA algorithm or the likes of Alan Kay.

Note: everything he's done on the "semantic web" has gone nowhere.

Lester Taylor said...

Yes, it is all sop.

I cannot believe that such a shallow appointment is even being considered.

What possible constructive input can she have other than giving dodgy advice on the decor of the House of Lords?

The Economic Voice's Titanic Captain said...

It can't be true....If it is then I should be apointed to the lords also...seeing as I am a useless twit who can't spell.

woman on a raft said...

But David Ross, the Carphone Warehouse bloke, was obliged to step down from several posts and as a Bojo advisor in December 2008.

"David Ross resigned from Carphone Warehouse on Monday. Mr Ross, who co-founded the company with [Charles] Dunstone, stepped down after telling the board that he had pledged 15 per cent of the company's shares as security for personal loans of more than £100m.

It then emerged he had made similar pledges in three other companies where he was a director – National Express, Big Yellow Group and Cosalt.

Mr Ross was forced to resign from five key posts this week. As well as stepping down from Carphone Warehouse, he also had to quit as an adviser to Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, on the 2012 Olympics, as chairman of National Express, and from the board of Big Yellow Group, the storage company.

Perhaps most painfully, the board of Cosalt, the company his grandfather bought almost 60 years ago,asked him to step down as chairman, but remain on the board. "


Fiona Mason and Mandate were not working for the Conservatives - and won't be if Cameron has any sense - and claimed to have been given these names at the conference. Presumably they took a stall and paid some money for it, so MPs were told to be nice to them.

Having obtained a list of names - or just made one up - Mason then puts it out to make some smoke signals. However, even if I hadn't read her CV and noticed that she's been 'inspired by Bob Geldorf' (she'll be mentioning Bono next) I'd know Mason is a liability for putting out a list of names she hadn't checked for insanity, green saliva or vacuity.

woman on a raft said...

The Metro story is basically a re-run of - the press release which was distributed via their blog.

Mark Wadsworth said...

WOAR, good research as ever.

But the fact remains that Kirsty is a sort of ex-officio housing advisor to the Tories and has appeared in public with Grant Shapps calling for tax breaks for first time buyers, just to keep the bubble inflated.